Wednesday, October 24, 2007

When fertility friend sucks...

I am in a funk today. I have been playing around with a post complaining about the FF message board again, but can hear it in my head and shoot --- I wouldn't even want to read it. I just don't understand some people. One mom spent the entire 19 months between having her children bemoaning the fact that she wasn't "ABLE" to breast feed because the hospital took her little one to the nursery and fed him a bottle because she was so exhausted after her labor (it was almost the exact same length of time as my first labor -- granted, very tiring, but I still made an effort to nurse and was so jacked up after having L that I couldn't have slept if I wanted to, so I also just do not understand). Anyways, she has her second, in a fast labor, he nurses well from day one and a week later she quits because.... "SHE IS TOO TIRED" he is getting up every two hours and she can't do this with a toddler (um, NORMAL anyone?? This by the way is a nurse too -- so that made it interesting). WTH!!!! Not for nothing, this was when her hubby was STILL home with her? When she ultimately decided to quit, her post was "Hubby is not able to bond with the baby as well as he did with the first."

Now I don't know whether that is a comment on how lame her hubby is or just an excuse, but OMG I wanted to bang my head into a wall.

So why do I still post there? Search me... I truly have no idea anymore. Some of the woman were fine for a bit, but now there is one who can't have anymore kids because she almost died during her 1st pregnancy (she has a heart condition) who is thinking "maybe" a surrogate -- but only if the surrogate eats what she thinks is important, doesn't drink COFFEE, gets what she thinks is adequate rest, etc. In otherwords, as long as MOM can micromanage the surrogates life for 9 months. As somone who has considered being a surrogate, let me tell you, how much that was such a turn off for me. You don't go in to the surogacy agreement with a women who assumes you are only going to harm the fetus that you are carrying to help them! I mean what is the point. I would treat a surrogate pregancy just like any of my other pregancies. Up my calcium, take prenates, make sure not to over due it, make my appointments and most of all drink my fucking coffee, thank you very much. That would be like me saying -- well I will only be a surrogate if you agree to breastfeed after the child is born, or to cloth diaper, or practice baby wearing, or attachment parenting, etc. If I can't decide how the child is parented, then you can't decide how the baby is grown in utero. You are renting my uterus, not my life.

Anyways, off to do some real work. I was out of the office for a class yesterday, so I am sure I have a mounting pile of "to dos".

DS tidbit: An infant with Down syndrome can be breast-fed. Breast milk is generally easier to digest than formulas of all types. Furthermore, breast-fed infants have fewer upper and lower respiratory infections, as well as a lower incidence of otitis media, atopic diseases and respiratory allergy. Breast feeding also enhances oral motor development, which is the foundation of speech. The psychologic benefit derived from the bonding of mother and infant can be extremely important at a time when, because of the infant's disability, the mother may be questioning her own adequacy. Even if the infant is unable to breast feed directly, expressed breast milk given another way may be beneficial for the child's health and the mother's emotional well-being.


Coty said...

So, I just found your blog today and started reading. Is everyone in the world on FF? Seems that way, sometimes. Anyway, you're not alone in your FF woes. Some of the people on there drive me batty, too. I have twenty days left on my membership and I can't find many reasons to stay. :S

Liberty said...

FF drives me crazy too. I'm not sure if I'll be renewing either.