Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
These results I know for sure I will not get until August 17. I have been warned to not ask because they aren't allowed to tell me anything until then. So, the wait begins.
On better news though, W had her little girl last night! At 9:32 Olivia Lynn arrived was 6lbs, 5oz and 20.5 inches long. I just can't wait to get my hands on her. Love you W.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
RANTING STARTS HERE:
I had worked up an entry about car seats and CR (to avoid any confusion -- among my family member and friends that read this, I cut and pasted my evilness in the entry below this one) and all of that, but apparently people are starting to feel that I am making decisions or doing things because I:
1) need attention (at least I THINK that is what it was/ lots of "oh I know the real reason behind this" and cry for attention, blah blah. I am told I am YAGE-ing. Beats me what that means, didn't feel like finding out -- let me know if you know!)
2) I am still suffering based on something that happened somewhere else, with someone else.
Confused yet?! Yeah, so was I. Thank God someone filled me in on the inner workings of my brain.
Here the gist -- me = pissed off about my words being twisted about a post I made on mommy board 1. Apparently, I am so damn snobby that the more you spend the better mommy you are (for those that know me in real life -- please stop the hysterical giggling, you are scaring those around you. Trust me -- I KNOW. It is mindboggling). So I write a post on Mommy board 1, referencing the car seat thing, but that also pertained to excessive whining about a variety of issues. Mainly it was -- stop the whining and own up to your own choices and stop putting your issues on me. Snobby bitch, aren't I!
Anyways, so now the people that have found their way over to here... well lets just say they think that post was because of this blog.
Yep -- if you weren't hysterically laughing before, you are now.
Maybe if they read this post or this one, they might get a better idea, but hey...
Oh and apparently I have called this same group of woman bitches somewhere. Search me. Would love to link you there, but can't seem to find it.
OMG -- they think an attorney is bothered by conflict. Dear God!
First of all, CR is not the end all and be all of car seat safety. Maybe it is just me, but I never ever take what ONE person says as the gospel. I research, investigate, get insight from others and THEN make a damn decision on what I am going to do.
And guess what, I don’t then second guess my decisions, think I did something wrong or get all pissy when someone ELSE makes a decision that differs from mine. Know why? Because when I make MY decision, I know I am doing so with all the best information that I can find. Period. End. Of. The. Effing. Story. My decision doesn’t work for every family -- who give a crap. My decision doesn’t need to be the popular one, just the one that I feel is best. Actually, usually the least popular decision is the RIGHT one.
Yes, I am lucky to be able to say that price doesn’t ever factor in. Actually, lets be honest -- I am NOT just lucky. I have MADE myself the way I am. I am the one who busted my ass through law school. I am the one who worked 80 hour weeks as a paralegal WHILE GOING TO SCHOOL AND REMAINING ON THE GOD DAMN DEANS LIST to so impress my law firm that they offered me a position and I am the one who continues to bust my ass, work insane hours, spend time away from my children so that I can in fact never let price factor into most of my decisions. I don’t blow money, but I do make sure that I don’t have to even think twice about it when I am making a decision about my kids.
The fact that some people choose to spend money on clothing, bibs, fancy sheets, expensive strollers RATHER than spending the money on a car seat boggles my mind, but you know what -- NOT MY CHILD SO I DO NOT CARE.
I don’t think there is an unsafe car seat. There are unsafe USERS of car seats. There are car seats that are easier to use than others, but there is in fact no unsafe car seat. Find the one that you can use and be done with it.
Do I think a company that has had to withdrawal its findings, has been sued no less then 2 dozen times in the last 7 years and outsources their research to God knows who is the end all be all?? NO and quite honestly I think their opinion is better used to line a bird cage then to make a decision. You know whose opinion I value most?? Car seat technicians who install the damn things and EMTs and Cops who respond to accident scenes -- they are the ones who see whether a car seat worked or not in REAL LIFE, not someone who tests them in a close facility with no oversight.
You are only overly sensitive to someone contradicting you when you are unsure of your own decision. That too, is not MY Goddamn problem.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
... when the boys go to the park/play outside more with The Wife then with us? The Wife insists that, weather permitting, the boys get at least 1 hour of fresh air. I love the rule. Too bad their fresh air with me is being blown in through the windows of the minivan while I run errands with them.
... when the whole speech delay evaluation process started I filled in The Wife about it and now L says just as many words in Spanish as he does in English.
... that R will take a bottle of room temp milk from her, but screams his bloody head off if B or I try to give him a similar bottle? We need to make it nice and toasty for him to take it from either of us.
... that I don't care about any of this stuff because even though it isn't "my way", L and R adore The Wife and are so well cared for and loved that my heart swells with affection for The Wife every time she walks in the door?
I am working on a post about the damn Mommy boards and car seats and consumer reports and people being just too God damn insecure in their decisions that they are freaks about stuff, but there is lots of swearing involved and I am just pissed beyond belief right now, so I am attempting to take some time to just calm the hell down.
Not to mention I have this thing call WORK. Seems to seep lots of spare time from me.
There is a long story behind it, but it was shortened from Smoocher, to Smooch then to Smoo. Strangely enough, it involves no kissing whatsoever either. Needless to say, my family hasn't called me by my proper name, unless I am in trouble, since about that time. My nieces call me Aunt Smoo, although they do now know my name isn't really Smoo. But, I think I am officially ready to shorten it again...
From now on, just call me Moo.
I am breastfeeding R. I actually breastfed L up until I was about 6 weeks pregnant with R, but didn't have the energy to fight the supply drop that came immediately upon my getting pregnant (went from pumping 20 oz to 6 oz!!!). We used up our 200 oz freezer stash relatively quickly and then moved onto formula. There was little guilt involved, until L started getting sick constantly. During one particularly bad bout of the flu, the only thing L kept down for a 3 day period was the last remaining 40 oz of frozen breastmilk that we had previously overlooked in the freezer. It was like the miracle fluid.
So this time I was resolved that come hell or high water, I am breastfeeding R through at least his first year. I took to pumping right away and storing at least 5 oz in extra milk a day from the first day we got home. Luckily, I was constantly in a state of engorgement, so this was easy for me to do. By the time I went back to work 12w later, I had over 500 oz in my freezer. And talking about the freezer -- we purchased a seperate deep freezer for our basement to store breastmilk for L because it can store for longer. Why yes, we are freaks about this? You just catching on to that.
So, as it stands now, we have used exactly 10 oz from our freezer stash (I keep a close eye on it!). AND I have added an additional 50 oz to it. That doesn't include the constant flow of milk through the fridge which on any given day has more than 50 oz in it. I keep thinking to myself, well I should stop pumping first thing in the morning, although I do it for comfort now more than anything, but then I am gripped with fear that I will somehow dry up before the 12m mark and need to rely on the stash to get us there.
Needless to say, I am currently hording breastmilk. I won't even get into the fact that the breastmilk has in fact had to be relocated for a few days during an extended power outage here in NY, but suffice to say, I have some very awesome neighbors and friends who didn't mind storing frozen blocks of human milk for me!
Hello, I am MomSmoo and I am a cow.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
It wasn't always this way. When he was first born, he demanded to be fed multiple times during the night, demanded to co-sleep or at least sleep while being held after about 3 in the morning and generally contributed to a few dark nights where I wondered just what the hell did we get ourselves into. With the first, they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. With the second, that is just not possible. Even keeping L in daycare for the first week only worsened our problems because he ended up bringing home yet another disease that resulted in two ruptured eardrums in R (earliest case that our pediatrician has ever seen -- not a title I relish).
However, now, he really is becoming the light in our household. L flocks to him. I find myself having a harder and harder time putting him down every morning and wanting to delay his bedtime more and more every night because he is so much fun to watch. With L, I wanted him to progess -- do the next fun milestone. With R, I don't want him to change at all, even though every change just seems to make him a more delightful child. It is sad to watch them grow, but so utterly amazing.
How could it get any better?
Monday, July 23, 2007
Me: L is delayed 8 months. He is a "smart cookie", but has the speech of a 12m old and they highly recommend speech therapy, getting him into play groups, Gymboree to be around other kids and starting sign language with him. So we delayed way longer than we should have. I started asking about speech at 15 months and here it is 5 months later and we have done nothing. Also, pulling him out of daycare was not a great idea since he now needs to be around other kids. And 8 months -- he is only 20m old. That is like being 2/5th behind! That is a lot for a little guy.
B: L is fine. He is delayed in speech and advanced in other areas. A little speech therapy and spending time with other kids and he will be good as new.
Officially these were the evaluators words: He is solid on his 9-12m skill and has scattered skills from 12m and on. He is quite advanced in some areas (physically, etc), but his verbal speech and comprehension is delayed.
Then just to add to the mix and make me feel like more of an ass, guess who is proving to be a freaking GENIUS when it comes to sign language! I picked up a book this weekend (although WHY I went to the bookstore with two kids the day Harry Potter was released really goes to show my level of intelligence) and L has already mastered 2 words -- more and all done. Seriously, I now feel like a shit for not trying sooner. He is always using hand signals (shushing you and waving you over when he wants you to "come here").
Oh well, just another fleeting case of mommy guilt.
Friday, July 20, 2007
I identify the popular people in a group and befriend them. Turns out I can be quite charming (yes, for REAL, I can, now stop laughing at me and just read), when I want to be. Yes, you read that right -- WHEN I want to be. So, a few weeks/months pass of me being "popular" and following the lead of these popular people until one day I wake up and think. WAIT, why am I not the center of attention? Yes, I may not be "pretty" like they are (although B laughs his ass off at my high school year book and asks why THIS one is popular because she is "ugly as shit" and THAT one isn't because "Damn she is hot" -- lucky for him I am in the later category in his mind. Gotta love the poor deluded man.). I may not be one of those people who goes out and drinks her own body weight worth of booze at any time. I may also be one of those people who would just rather spend time in sweats rather than some over priced get up that is all the rage. And that is where the problems begin. I start dressing the way I want, stop acting like an unitelligent cackling airhead and actually - GOD FORBID - have an opinion that differs from the norm. Then I realize I am happier -- much happier -- being myself and as a result, whamo, no longer popular (this is usually because I go out with a bang and tell someone to fuck off -- that would have been law school -- or invite the entire school to their "private party" -- way back in middle school -- or anyone number of things.)
Now, what is bringing up all this teenage angst. Well several things...
1) L isn't nearly as social as he was just a few short months ago when he was in daycare. Over the weekend we attended a birthday party of a "Friend" of sorts. Not a close friend. Actually B's former boss. But they have kids close in age to L and R, so I thought it would be fun for the boys and nice to meet other mommy's in the area. Ummm, Yeah, NOT. At one point I noticed that L was standing just outside the main group of kids and not getting in there, not playing the the water, not playing with the toys, just really watching it all and taking it in. And I started to worry about whether he is socially delayed too -- damn this early intervention crap, now I worry about every little thing he does or doesn't do. Then I shook my over educated head and realized, HELLO -- here I am with R in the carrier standing at a picnic table just away from the general party talking to NO ONE. Although, I would love to say that normally I would, but when you have two kids to watch yourself and the supposed babysitters are discussing threesomes while the kids romp around like fools, I am sorry I will ignore adults and hang with my kids thank you very much.
However, I don't think that is really the case. I have a group of VERY close friends that I have had for a VERY long time. I have some newer friends and I have work friends. I am the type of person that will tell you -- why yes, those pants make your ass look like the Goodyear blimp -- and suprisingly enough, most people don't like that level of honesty. But that doesn't translate well to L. So, do I just suck it up and go back to that wretched play group that I hated or what? how do I teach him to make new friends when I find that I don't like most of the mommy's in this area.
2) The fucking message boards that I belong too. Seriously, I really need to stop torturing myself. I used to belong to the nest, but that place is psycho-ville USA, so I left. Then I joined Fertility Friend (which is good for charting, but the moderators are Nazi's and I recommend avoiding it at all costs!), I have a mommy's group there of mommy's with kids L's age. I also belong to an off-FF board of March 07 mommy's that packed up and moved on because of FF acting psychotic in their monitoring. Guess what -- I am NOT popular at either of those boards. I make a very big point not to ruffle feathers or anything, but both places, there are a group of 2 or 3 moms that get 99% of the attention. Seriously, I could post that my arm just was hacked off by a chainsaw and the "popular" mommy that stubbed her toe gets 100 responses and hugs and I get -- suck it up woman, it could be worse. Good lord. Well, I could share stories for the next few hours, but I do have to work and all.
Anyways, the point is... For some reason this BOTHERS me. I guess I just don't get it. Just like I didn't get it in Middle school, high school, college or law school. Why oh why am I not good enough to be popular? So, then I start in with the self-doubt, why don't they like me, crap. I alternate my reasoning between one of two things -- low self-esteem (i am ugly and not a good enough friend) or over inflated self-esteem (Why do I want to be friends with these idiots anyway, who know next to nothing about pregnancy, infancy or toddlerhood and spend 90% of there time on this stinking internet board).
Don't worry -- my self-absorbed worrying will pass. It always does. Just like when I was friends with the popular crowd in middle school or high school. I will wake up one day and say fuck you all. I am way more intelligent then ya'll and don't have to pretend about anything. So what if the whole world doesn't send me *hugs* and such, I am pretty damn fantastic myself and dude -- check out those two boys and the close friends I do have. Obviously, I am doing something right. Quality over quantity anyday. I just need to get to that day and in the mean time worry about what is wrong with me and why don't people like me.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Anyways, onto more fun things. ....
I am thinking. Give me a minute and I am sure I will be able to come up with something interesting that has happened.....
R is getting a tooth. I think. Gum is puffy and there is that sandpapery feel and the kid drools NON STOP, but he still smiles ALL THE STINKING time (even smiled at the dr through the un-adhering process) and still sleeps well. Although I guess karma paid me a visit this morning when he got up at 6 instead of his normal 7am. I should know better then to say my kid is sleeping well.
God my life is boring. Well, busted steam pipes that I wasn't in a 30 mile radius of and all.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Not to mention, R is utterly adorable in them:
Monday, July 16, 2007
He has given up pacifiers (when B doesn't cheat and try to sneak him one -- Daddy is a softy).
He pee pee's on the potty every day after his afternoon nap.
He is an awesome share-r.
He is getting more and more gentle with his brother.
He will shush you if R is sleeping (although he himself kinda sucks about being quiet and wakes R up more times then not).
He has learned to kick in the water and will put his face in and blows bubbles.
AND he also still naps for 3 sanity reviving hours everyday.
I had more heartmelting moments with him this weekend. Esp the pee pee on the potty ones. How did he get to be so big! He is adorable about it though... you have to leave him alone in the bathroom for him to actually pee and he usually gets more pee on the floor then in the toilet, but he is trying and I couldn't be prouder. Of course every time he pees I make a HUGE deal outta it, we dance around singing pee pee on the potty, we call grandparents and aunts and he gets a treat. Generally, I make a complete ass outta myself, but if I can get this kid outta diapers by 2, I will GLADLY continue to act the part of a fool.
On a side note, amalah's little boy is starting the early intervention program too. Send her some love during this rough time.
Friday, July 13, 2007
The speech therapist will be here in a week too. I am just looking forward to getting the ball rolling on this and figuring out what exactly we can do to help the little guy. *sigh*
Now, this may sound a bit selfish, but, HELLO why is this all MY responsibility to deal with? B has done NOTHING as far as helping out here. Do I not work full time too? How is it that I am working these appt in on the days I work from home. He seriously needs to figure out a way to help because now I am starting to get pissed. I don't care if I am home, I am still WORKING. Hence the reason the Wife is here!!!!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
My favorite thing to do now is to sneak a peak at her playing with L or R. Not in a spying on her sort of way, but just in the unobtrusive way that I can see how they genuinely care about one another and interact without L running to me.
Maybe it is because at the end of the day L would much much much rather be with his mommy and daddy and R's world still revolves around me. If the Wife "replaces" me in my kids eyes, then I probably won't be pleased, but right now, I really couldn't ask for more.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
You know that cute little note to my wonderful four year old niece yesterday. Cute wasn't it? I am so awesome that I remembered and told the whole internet and all, right. Yeah, well it was all for naught because her absent-minded, self-absorbed aunt totally forgot to CALL her yesterday. Dang those pesky 4-year olds for not reading my blog and all and making me call.
I feel about this big right now. I am so so so sorry Ryann!!! Calling you tonight. (please GOD let me remember to call tonight).
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Anyways, onto what I planned on posting about... L! He is finally giving up the pacifier. Not of his chosing of course, but hey, what kind of mean mommy would I be if I just left the poor kid alone with his source of comfort, right?? Actually, it has been pretty easy. Nap time is a breeze and he doesn't complain at all. Night time is a bit different and it is more of a yelling/bemoaning the fact that his evil parents are torturing him and gesturing wildly to the various places that he has previously thrown/hidden/found pacifers in the past. To borrow a phrase from Linda, he yells it out. 3-5 minutes of it and then he realizes, screw this, I am tired and going to sleep.
Now, if only he would stop ripping them out of R's mouth on the very very few times that we give R a pacifer... Guess that will come.
Oh and most importantly HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY to my beautiful niece Ryann. I was busy watching your older sisters while you took your sweet time coming into this world (my sisters labors were 7 hours, 9 hours and 2 days!!! The Saint apparently wanted to go against the grain.) and loved every minute of it. XOXOXO to you.
Monday, July 9, 2007
I am telling you ladies -- marry someone handy! It is worth its weight in gold. Cabinets arrive on Wednesday and I will finally have a kitchen back. 3 weeks with no kitchen and 2 under 2... HELLISH. Poor L seems to have recovered from staring into the kitchen through a tarp at the outline of his dad though...
Friday, July 6, 2007
Labor/Contractions, hell even the 42 hours of back labor with L, the first few weeks with an infant waking every 2 hours, even my 4 week long bout with mono where I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without having to lay down and sleep... CAKEWALK to mastitis! On Sunday, I laid in the basement for a while just praying that I could die.
Anyways, antibiotics kicked that bugs ass and now I am onto thrush. Shooting pain in my boob, cracked and itchy nipple, blah blah blah blah. Oh the fun. Gonna try a nipple cream the lactation consultant recommended, but if that doesn't work, we are on to the fun purple-monster making genetian violet.
And right now, I can only imagine the searchs that will cause THIS post to pop up!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Strangely enough, neither B nor I are upset about it. We both feel that it is important to nip this in the butt early on rather than take a sit and wait approach. Of course I know my SIL and MIL think I am totally overreacting (the first time MIL or SIL have EVER questioned my parenting) because SILs son of course didn't start talking until he was 3 and now he talks up a storm. And everyone of course thinks he is the perfect child (did you guess yet that I do not think so?? Really, was it that obvious?) Sorry, I am not willing to just wait and see. Not to mention I KNOW that 50% of his temper tantrums are the result of us not having a CLUE as to what he wants. Once he can talk a bit, I think the temper tantrums will get better.
Of course THAT will be just in time for the terrible twos, so I don't know if it will make much of a difference. This parenting bit is all just a barrel of laughs, huh?
On another note, R, pretty much the most perfect baby EVER. Can't believe how awesome he is.