Saturday, September 27, 2008

once an athlete

always an athlete?

So, this weekend -- for a little fun -- the family and I mixed it up and I did a triathlon in the morning before taking L off for swimming lessons. Poor R missed his, but I have plans to make it up to him.

Before you start thinking I am your hero or something (because you were thinking that, right), let me clear one thing up. I didn't do a triathlon. I was part of a team that did a triathlon. My part -- swim for all of about 7 minutes. My sister (older remember) ran for double that and my dad (yeah WAY older) did about an hour and twenty minutes on a bike in the torential rain otherwise known as 15.4 miles. Yeah -- my part was measured in yards still and everyone else was in miles -- plural.

If you can keep a secret -- it was kind of fun (you know having the easy leg and all makes me the best judge of the fun-ness level). This coming from a person who usually says "I swam competitively for 15 years -- I have done all the training I am ever going to do."

And in fact, I didn't do much training for this. I think I was in the water about 5 or 6 times in the last month -- previously being kept busy by something annoying and minor like the bar exam.

But I have a very bad feeling that these could be fun. Too bad I don't own a bike and I have no idea when I will have the time to train. But we do have plans to join a gym.

Oh and anyone have a clue how to get black sharpie off your skin? I think it will look weird to appear in court with a giant 32 on each leg!

You know... so the kids have a place to take swim lessons and all.

Monday, September 22, 2008

completing me

Have you ever gotten the feeling that your life just isn't complete?

Not the -- I want to have another child complete, but the there is something missing in my life. I have felt that way for a very long time.

Who knew that it was actually that I needed to drop something in my life. Losing that one thing has been a breath of fresh air. Things with B are better. I enjoy my time with the boys more - granted, they still make me nutty, but it is so much better. Life if fuller -- even as it has become more empty. I have time to do the fun things with the kids. Swimming lessons aren't shoved in last second, there is the time to do it and the time to do it "right" so I don't cram it in. There is the time to spend a leisurely night out with friends talking over dinner and drinks. There is the time to train for a triathlon.

There is the time to bring so much more in my life now that I have lost that one thing that I used to think was so very vitale to my existance.

After months of fretting about it and then finally pulling the plug on it I wasn't sure. But every day reminds me it was the best choice.

I so don't miss New York. And I really really don't miss my old job.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


Apparently I am doing a good job at work.

Seeing the number of files on my desk, it appears that I am doing a REALLY good job.

The vast range of things I do on a single day is truly amazing. Looking at my calendar and seeing that I am triple booked at least once a week for the next 6 weeks isn't though.

Tomorrow I not only have R's 18m appointment, I have a writing assignment (work related, but not case related), and an actual work/case related brief due.

Oh and apparently, not only do I have work social functions, but now I actually have a social life too. I have something planned every single weekend from now until November. Thank god I found a babysitter because I think my parents might actually get sick of seeing my kids at this rate.

Yeah, this was a good move, but I certainly am looking forward to a slow day. Wonder when that will come.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

well - that is interesting

So L... well he is 90% potty trained right.

Actually he is so good at it that he goes without even needing to tell us. The only time he really needs help is when he wants us to turn on a light. I don't let him wipe after he poops because he just can't do a good enough job and I am not letting poop sit on his bum.

However, we seem to have hit a problem.

He gets up in the middle of the night and pees on his bed or on the floor.

At first I thought he was sleepwalking of sorts. Then he tried to clean it up one time with wipes.

So - is this on purpose or is he doing it accidentally?

And how do I get him to stop. I mean he is still in pull ups over night, so I am not even asking him stay dry. I just don't want him to whip out his penis and pee some where other then the potty.

Tonight he didn't have anything to drink after 645. Lets hope that helps.

Oh and mom -- can I use that bissell??

Monday, September 15, 2008

A minor miracle

You will never believe what we found this weekend?

No, seriously -- you need to guess...

A babysitter! I know. Doesn't sound like a miracle? Well it is for us. Don't take that though as WE are picky and reject multiple babysitters. That isn't the case.

The fact is that we don't know any teenagers -- boy or girl. In NY it was 100 times worse because there are no teenage girls that want to work for a few dollars an hour. The running rate for one kid in NY is about $15. $20 for watching my two under 3. Do you know how much that adds to the bottom line?

So B and I rarely go out on dates unless our parents or neighbors could take the boys.

That has ended.

Stevie is our little angel. The boys are totally in love with her too and want to know when she is coming back.

Friday! That is the answer. Real babysitter (not grandparents). Real plans. Real soon!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


It is hard to explain how I feel today. Angry and bitter come to mind. But mainly shocked and saddened. The best word I can think of is raw.

How has it already been 7 years?

I can remember the details of that day so clearly. Where I was when I found out about the first plane crash. Going to call my mom to tell her not to worry -- I wasn't at the WTC for a conference that day. I worked in finance at the time and had many conferences at Windows on the World. Telling her immediately that it wasn't an accident. Having her blow me off. Going back to my bosses office to watch the TV. Watching the second plane hit the building live. Walking down 17 flights of stairs to look out at the smoke billowing out of the buildings which even in midtown were visible. Watching the buildings come down. All the rumors of that day -- the number of planes missing. The number of planes crashed unclear. The panicked nature of everything. Not being able to leave the city because the trains heading out of town were closed down. Watching millions of people walking north from downtown. Listening to the absolute silence of that day. Being shocked by my boss's boss -- her disgust that someone would get on the train when it finally opened up bloody and dirty. Her jaw falling open when I pointed out -- it looks like she was downtown when the buildings came down -- that grey smoot all over her is building debris.

That may sound callous of her - it wasn't meant to be. It was all entirely too much to comprehend that day.

Then sitting in front of the TV for the next 3 days watching as it replayed over and over and over again.

September 11 marked a significant change in my life. It is hard to describe without going into too much detail that I am not ready to share, but in the months that followed my life turned to its bleakest and lowest point.

I had already met B by this point, but he was just a friend of a friend. When we first moved in together I found out what he was doing on Sept. 11, 2001 when I was going through his work papers -- he was at a farm conference. I asked him how he could have been at a conference on a day like that. He just didn't get that to me the world stood still on that day.

September 11. Seven years. Both a lifetime ago and the recent past. But never forgotten.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

finally scheduled

On September 24 R will finally have his evaluation.

Thank God. Not a moment too soon. The drooling is getting worse by the second. We have him in a bib all day long and STILL his shirt ends up soaking wet. There are not lumps or bumps to suggest we are getting teeth either. Granted we still have the 2 year molars to come in, but since L's second set just arrived (unannounced by the way) last month, I don't think R's are quite ready yet.

However, thanks to the greatest school there ever was, he has started saying more words. Today was "brown bear" in reference to his favorite book. Which was also L's favorite book at 18 months -- too cute. Uh oh is also a common little phrase from his mouth, usually following him purposely throwing his fork on the floor.

So -- my guess is that he may in fact fail his evaluation - which is actually a good thing - but I also don't know how much I am hearing vs. what he is in fact saying. My ears hear him ask for a pretzel. Consider the kid doesn't really talk ... how unlikely would it be that that is one of his first words.

On Sept 18 I will see his new pedi. My goal is to have them recommend a tonsillectomy. I honestly think he needs it -- if you could see his teeny tiny little throat half closed with his honking tonsils, you would agree. But I know it isn't a favored surgery anymore. I think that in and of itself would solve his drooling problem. Lord knows it helped my niece on both the drooling and the talking front.

Oh and anyone know what to do with an extremely high pallete? Dude -- I think his is as high as mine is as an adult.

Friday, September 5, 2008

I am doing what I said I would never do...

I am writing a political entry.

I am a moderate leaning more to libertarian. However, I am doing what I never thought I would see. I am heartily supporting a pro-life choice.

You read that right... McCain/Palin are getting my vote.

Granted, I have been registered Republican since I was 18. I can't say that I ever really identified with either party. I split the ticket a lot of the time. For local candidates I rarely even look to political party because it doesn't really matter to me. Whoever is going to mesh best with my ideas is who I am voting for.

This election was different. I have a general distrust for both. As you all know B is from Chicago. I haven't met a person IRL who liked Obama or could name a single thing he did to make their lives better. There was one woman who was on a mommy message board with who loved him. We didn't see eye to eye on anything else, and everything she said seemed to come straight from his own website. If that is all I wanted I wouldn't have asked the question.

It has only gotten worse in the recent weeks. I am a news junkie. Love to read it, love to read the message boards, love to take it all it... Here are a few highlights I found this morning (the come from the Huffington Post and CNN -- not totally obscure places)

we shouldn't take pot shots at her obvious lack of parenting abilities? Please!Maybe is she spent more time Focusing on her own Family (pun intended) her daughter wouldn't be a pregnant teen. Every person, male or female, has the right to pursue a career. However, if you made the choice to bring 5 children into this world stay home and raise them! It's a spit in the face to every working parent who only wished they were financially capable of staying home with their children

Palin is a bigot (at best) who used her baby as a political tool at the RNC and should be ashamed of herself for doing so. If she actually read something, she would have know that the chances of having a downs syndrome baby in her mid-late 40's is extremely high and I think she was absolutely irresponsible for not taking steps to prevent getting pregnant at such an age in the first place. She absolutely disgusts me.

Oh REALLY?! Well consider the vast majority of mom's are WORKING mom, isn't that a kick in the balls. I guess Larsy boy here thinks that my ass should be sitting at home with the kids. Could we afford for me to... yeah, now that we live in PA we could. Of course we couldn't afford to send my kids to school or do anything else in the world for them, but yeah, we could. Guess I thought that was my CHOICE. I didn't realize having a uterus automatically forced me to be the stay at home parent. (of course Larsy boy here doesn't address the other side of the coin, which is of course ... Obama - greatest daddy in the world of course - has spent a grand total of like a month with his own kids in the last two years!!)

And Brian... so no one over 40 should have a kid? Really, even though the odds are still only in the teens that the child would have downs syndrome? The only thing that is disgusting is your obvious ignorance. Trig is a blessing, just like any other baby. I am blessed to have an downs syndrome child in my pseudo family (I have talked about O at length here). So what really is your point -- that she shouldn't have had a baby or she shouldn't have had a downs syndrome baby? Again though -- it was her CHOICE. Sorry Trig doesn't fit into YOUR definition of perfect ... he sure as shit does fall into my definition of it. And as for my friend whose daughter has DS... she was 29 when she had her. Doesn't that just burst your little bigot bubble. Pot. Kettle. Black.

For a party that is supposed to be all about CHOICE it is amazing how quickly one is jumped on for their choices. I didn't realize that choice was all about aborting a kid. Or staying home if we could afford it. Or doing any number of the rabid things put forth on message board recently.

And talking about choice... how can I support a pro-life candidate... Because I would rather one have to deal with the consequences of their own actions, myself included, rather than have our president pretend the world isn't as scary as it really it. Do the Republicans fear monger? Hmmm.. an Iran with nuclear arms and a Taliban that flaunts around in their victims uniforms... HELL no. You got knocked and don't want the kid... give it up for adoption. No one is talking about life of the mother issues here either, because even Palin supports abortions in that situation. McCain expands it further to include rape and incest. But is that really likely to change with a Democratic Congress in place... hell no!
As far as abstinence only education... why is that even an issue? I don't look to the schools to teach my kids this stuff and I sure as shit don't want a clinic handing out birth control to my nieces or condoms to my boys. If they need condoms and don't have the money, they will know all they need to do is ask me or B for $. I am not going to encourage them to have sex, just like my parents didn't, but they are sure as hell going to know that if they do they better fucking wrap it up no matter what! When NYC put a ban into effect forbidding formula samples from being given out free at hospitals there was a freaking uproar about taking away choice. No there wasn't. It's called making you fiscally responsible for your choice. You don't want to pay to feed your kid... breastfeed. It is free.
And as much as I am for a helping hand, I am not for long term hand outs and every "policy" of Obama is all about "the poor, the lowest income, ..." Lets just call it what it is... the lazy asses who don't even try. I have friends who have needed welfare for various reasons and I think it is amazing that there is such a program to help. You know what doesn't help... people earning more money for staying home and collecting welfare. Hell my one friend couldn't get help because she actually had a job. Couldn't really make ends meet with a total deadbeat daddy in the picture, but she busted her ass trying. That is totally ass end backwards!!! How about giving her a bonus for busting her ass and actually trying to do what is right. Personal responsibility is an amazing thing -- something seriously lacking in this country.

Obama ... this is one highly educated white woman who didn't fall for your hope and dream shit. Maybe put out a REAL plan with a way to pay for it rather then picking my pocket and we can talk. But hey... I am just a white woman. We all know you don't give a shit about me.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Finishing the job

Well, after 3 days of being a good boy at school, L decided to start the new school year with a bang. He finished peeling off the labels on the shelves. *sigh*

I am not liking 3. Three is a bad bad number. I can't believe that I am going to have 2 years back to back of 3. I was looking forward to almost being out of 2. This wasn't what I was expecting.

Although everyone and their cousin told me 3 was worse.

Only 14 months to go until I see age 4.

Both boys started school yesterday though. Think they were happy to be headed off together?