Thursday, June 28, 2007

Mommy's boy

R is a total Mama's boy and I couldn't be happier about it. Yeah, it may be short lived, but right now, I am his whole world. He lights up when he sees me, throws a fit if I am not around and just generally would rather be with me then anyone else. Which leads me to a thought?

How do you find the right balance of being "needed" by your kids and turning your boy into a Mama's boy at 22? R, at the moment, is a total crank if I am not home at night. Normally, this is not a problem, but on the rare ocassion that I DO have something to do at night (continuing legal education classes for example -- the bane of any lawyers existance), it makes for a really hard night for B. L is running around like a nut and is used to being the center of Daddy's world in the evenings and R just wants to be held, cuddled and nursed. Bottles just don't cut it for him at night.

Not to mention, this also stems from our neighbors. We have a wonderful neighbor P who is one of those parents that makes me shake my head. She knows this and we discuss it at length, but here are some examples -- her 12 year old son cries and gets upset if she goes out at night with friends, he is INCAPABLE of getting himself ANYTHING to eat, he is INCAPABLE of even picking up his towel off the floor of the bathroom and last but not least doesn't even pick out his own boxers to wear (and I mean that like P picks out a t-shirt and boxers for him and places it in the bathroom with a fresh towel so when he goes in to shower it is all there waiting for him!!). Again -- he is TWELVE people. Anyways, since she is overly concerned with being her son's friend and I am NOT, I know I won't get to that stage, but seriously, how do you find that balance, because let me tell you how much I love R's NEED for me for right now.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A good balance?

I am very lucky. I have a job I actually really like, I get to work from home two days a week and my boys are home with the worlds best nanny. I think I may have finally found the right balance for my life.

I am not snippy or cranky about things. I am actually keeping busy at work and getting quite a bit of time with the boys in the evenings and weekends. It took me until we had the second kid to figure it out, but I think by George I have got it.

Now, remind me of this when I get my next wave of mommy guilt because I miss R rolling over or L's most recent tumble.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The nudist

L likes to be naked these days. I would love to say that it is the hot weather that is causing this or his sudden curiosity in his own poop, but I am not sure.

It is awful cute though to see his naked butt run up and down the hallways before taking a shower with B or to see him excape after a shower when B is trying to put pjs on him. He is also turning into Al Bundy though and keeps shoving his hand down his shorts and grabbing his penis (we call it his winky right now -- I know when I teach him his "parts" that I need to refer to it as his penis though, don't worry). I don't want to make a big deal out if it now, but how do I get him to stop doing that, especially in socially awkward situations (ie. it is NOT ok when we are at the neighbors house and he is playing with their 7 year old daughter!!!). Suggestions???

Monday, June 18, 2007


I had a reunion of sorts this weekend. I was a swimmer growing up and was invited to the wedding of a former teammate. I didn't keep in touch with many of the other swimmers after college, so most of the people there were people I haven't seen since I was 18-22. Here are things I learned about myself:

1) no one thought I would have kids. I guess I wasn't maternal. People are actually surprised that I am a good mom or actively involved with my kids. Yikes!

2) NO ONE is surprised that I am an attorney. Maybe that is the whole non-maternal thing too. Or maybe I am just hoping that my argumentative side overruled the maternal side back then. Yeah yeah, I was a bitch then and now, but I still love my boys.

3) I either haven't changed at all (that is a scary thought because I had some really rough looking years as a teen) or I am totally unrecognizable. I personally think it is the boobs that throws everyone off! An A to a D will do that! =)

4) The people that I didn't miss at all are the people that I now want to keep in touch with and the people I wanted to catch up with ... well, the curiosity is satisfied and I don't ever have to see them again. Seriously though, there was a woman there who I didn't really talk to growing up, but who has already given me leads for a job back in my home town and who I spent most of the night talking too. Maybe it is because she is a new mom too, and I did NOT assvice her to death either (patting self on back), so that is why we related, but I was thrilled to talk to her.

5) You can never go home, but you will impress the crap outta your husband when you return to a place where you were "famous" or infamous or just well known.

Oh and the title is courtesy of new mommy in part 4. That is how she referred to the night and I couldn't think of a more appropriate name for it.

So Congrats Stacie and Daryn. Hope you have many many happy years together and thanks for the invite. It was great to see you all.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Fear

I have a new fear. It isn't something awful happening to B or L or R or even one of them getting sick. It may be selfish, but my current biggest fear is that I am going to lose "The Wife". Things have been working out just a little too well and I am scared to death to get comfortable with having her. The kids love her. My house is clean on a regular basis. I am happier than anything. You just know that this luck can't hold out.

My fear was multiplied yesterday when B (in his normal style) stayed at work late. I went rushing out of the office at 430 (way the hell early for my office, thank you very much) to get home to relieve The Wife. She was able to catch a 630 bus home, but as she was leaving I saw her stop at the end of our street and look back. Yes, she could be looking back to catch a last glimpse of the kids (L now has to go outside to wave goodbye to her -- see how much he loves her!!!) or - and this is wear the fear kicks in - to scornfully look at me for NOT offering to drive her at least halfway home. UUGH. The poor woman spends an hour on the bus getting here in the mornings and TWO hours getting home (her asshole husband is part of this problem, but that is their marital issues and not mine and I can't really discuss them here). So, 3 hours on a bus and 10 with my kids. You KNOW her ass is packing up and leaving soon! As soon as R stops being a cute cuddly newborn, she is going to pack her stuff and abandon us.

So, the fear kept me up last night. I alternatate between thinking -- she LOVES us. Called her family and told them what awesome employers we are, was so excited to be paid for a holiday (Memorial Day), was excited that we let her eat in the house (long story about this one, but her previous employer was a Jewish family that kept their house kosher. She is Catholic. See the problem there??) and on an on.

But her family is also looking to buy a house in CT which will make her commute even longer. So, what do I do. Just wait for the other shoe to drop? B knows that if she quits he has to stay home with the kids again. Until then, I thank my lucky starts for The Wife and silently pray that their house buying plans fall through or her husband stops being a ass.

Monday, June 11, 2007

The bad side of loving Mommy

L has been a Daddy's boy from day 1. Well, maybe not quite from day 1 since I was the food source for the first few months, but for as long as L could show a preference. Now, not so much. L wants to sit on my lap, cuddle and kiss me and throws a fit when I leave in the morning.

Great, right?

Nope! Now L won't go to sleep unless Mommy comes in and says "night night" to him. It is the weirdest thing and we are trying to get it to stop. L has always been a great sleeper, so it is hard to not just go in, say night night, give him a kiss and walk out because I know he will go right to sleep. I love that he wants to see me one more time, but it is making B upset and soon I know that work is going to demand I be at the office at bedtime. For now, we are making it a slower transition, but soon he is going to just have to go to bed for Daddy.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Back to work

Yes, as I mentioned before, I am one of those terrible mom's who leaves her kids for "someone else to raise". Ya' know -- in those 6 hours that the "other person" has my kids, 3 of which L sleeps through and R -- well hell that kid just sleeps all the stinking time, so... Whatever -- that wasn't the point of this post.

I am back to work. YEAH!! And I am not currently working with co-irker, double YEAH. In fact I was put on a case with my very very favorite attorney, who just happens to be a friend outside of work too. It was kinda nice to be thrown right to the wolves. I mean if I am going to be away from the boys I damn well better be busy, otherwise it is just a waste.

Needless to say, thrown to the wolves I was and I already have plenty of work to do at home/on the weekends/ during the commute, etc.

And the kids ... well they are in the wonderful hands of the nanny (previously refered to as "the wife") and other than L throwing a fit when I leave in the mornings we are doing very well. Of course half of L's fit is a result of his evil mother dragging his ass outta bed almost an hour early so she can see his cute little face, so I might want to stop that. (I know -- you are all saying "YA THINK???"). It's ok. I know when I am being a dumbass.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Having a wife -- day 3

Ok, life makes much more sense now. Why was I constantly rushing around cleaning and getting pissed off at B and L for making a mess or hell even demanding my attention (you know those dang toddlers and actually wanting attention) while I was trying to clean. CLEAN damnit, why do we live in filth!!

Anyways, for the last three days I have sat on my ever expanding rump and snuggled R or played with L (few and far between because there is a new person in the house. A person who actually lets him play with the vacuum cleaner while she cleans and therefore far more interesting then the lump on the couch doing a half-assed job of trying to play farm or with puzzles or even God-forbid trying to get L to say a word... any damn word kid!!!) while Ruth cleaned the house. My house is spotless. Even my clean freak mother may actually deem it clean (except for our bedroom because hello that is a big storage pit and I need to actually declutter it before Ruth even has a hope of trying to clean in there).

Anyways, B is happier because I am happier and not constantly on his ass for leaving a glass out or clothing on the floor or any of those stereotypical male things because he does ever freaking last one of them. L is happier and cuddlier because I don't say NO 50 times a day to him and R -- well R is the happiest child I have ever seen in my life, so he can't get much happier.

Oh -- on a side note guess who is pumping her own damn body weight worth of milk??? Oh yeah, that is me! I had to BUY new bigger bottles to pump into because one side -- 9 oz!!!!! Seriously, my kid is an oinker!!!! MOO!

Note to self -- stop with the damn !!!! and (), they get the point already.

Note to readers -- I rarely if ever proof a post. It just isn't in me. I HATE proof reading, so hopefully you get the point if not, sorry I am confusing you and I am sure you left a long long time ago!