Monday, September 22, 2008

completing me

Have you ever gotten the feeling that your life just isn't complete?

Not the -- I want to have another child complete, but the there is something missing in my life. I have felt that way for a very long time.

Who knew that it was actually that I needed to drop something in my life. Losing that one thing has been a breath of fresh air. Things with B are better. I enjoy my time with the boys more - granted, they still make me nutty, but it is so much better. Life if fuller -- even as it has become more empty. I have time to do the fun things with the kids. Swimming lessons aren't shoved in last second, there is the time to do it and the time to do it "right" so I don't cram it in. There is the time to spend a leisurely night out with friends talking over dinner and drinks. There is the time to train for a triathlon.

There is the time to bring so much more in my life now that I have lost that one thing that I used to think was so very vitale to my existance.

After months of fretting about it and then finally pulling the plug on it I wasn't sure. But every day reminds me it was the best choice.

I so don't miss New York. And I really really don't miss my old job.

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