ME! Amy gave us another writing prompt, so here goes:
Dear 17 year old Smoo,
This will be a big year for you. Yeah, it starts off a bit shaky -- what with restraining orders and all -- but I promise if just keeps getting better. You know that cutie that you have been after for the ENTIRE school year. Yeah, Jon, well he IS just that into you, but quite shy. Give the guy a break and things will turn around for the two of you soon enough (the secret here is that he actually liked you before you ever noticed him -- turns out you sat in front of him in geometry. Too bad you were too busy flirting with someone else there!). He certainly isn't "the one", but he is seriously a step in the right direction. Might be the best boyfriend you have until you meet THE ONE. He is coming... just a few years down the line.
Oh and BTW -- it IS the right decision. Be careful like you were told by The Saint, but years from now you will look back and be very happy that you waited to lose your virginity until you really were in love. Again, Jon isn't "the one", but you won't regret that choice, ever. (oh and it just so happens that "the one" is losing his viriginity at about the same time you are... weird how that happens!).
Oh and Pookie as a nickname for Jon... yeah, lose that, its pathetic.
You know those friends of yours -- the ones who have been in your life since about 6th grade. I know you think that your team members are so much more fun and exciting -- with WP and HP smoking and all, HP losing her viriginity at 13, and BW sneaking out and drinking all the time and such -- but when the chips are down (and those times are fast approaching) no matter where you are or what is going one, those friends who you have spent every day eating lunch with will be the ones there for you! (there is another life-changing friend coming down the line, but she won't arrive for another year or so... just ignore the rumors you hear about her... they are about as true as the rumors floating out there about you!).
The Saint is going to spent 30 hours in a car in a 40 hour time frame to see you achieve greatness. Cut her some slack would you. She is going to be the best friend that you never knew was always in your life. You wouldn't have gone to those lengths for her at that time you selfish little girl -- appreciate what she does for you. She is going to need your support a lot in the coming years, not your petty judgement.
Another thing -- when you go to Texas on your recruiting trip, please please please for the love of GOD stay away from the shot luge! Seriously, it is evil and you will never be able to do another shot in your life without gagging (although, actually, that isn't a bad thing at all). Yes, you will be too embarassed to ever GO to Texas for school after vomitting in technicolor and that is really too bad because the excuse you come up with -- not respecting a female coach as much as a male -- is just pathetic. But ultimately you will end up where you are supposed to be and you will always have pride in being a member of the Gator Nation.
Oh -- and once you do get to Florida remember... dating Florida football players isn't all that it is cracked up to be. That jersey of his that you will wear so proudly is going to end up being a noose around your neck that it will take years and years of therapy to resolve! I know you won't listen, so during those dark suicidal days, listen to Odie -- she is a bitch but she has your best interest at heart, somewhere deep down -- and it really does get better.
Last but not least, stop asking for a hysterectomy. Two little boys will come into your life and you will be floored by the awesomeness of them. You may not want to be a mom now -- and thank God for that, you are only 17! -- but you will thank your lucky stars every single day that you are able to become a mom.
Smoo -- much older than 17 and much wiser now!