Thursday, September 6, 2007


I have always been a bit of a pessimist, so that may be where this is coming from, but do you ever look at your life and think well I am happy, but this isn't what I thought it was going to be like.

And that is both good and bad.

Well... I obviously do.

The goods:

1) I had no idea I would love being a mom as much as I did. I asked my parents for a hysterectomy for my 18th b-day because I didn't want to even CHANCE having kids or getting pregnant. I look at my kids these days and marvel at how absolutely amazing it is to be their mom. To get the look of unconditional love no matter how bad my day is.

2) The flexibility of my job. I am so lucky that I can pretty much set my own hours, come and go as I please, work from home 2 days a week, etc.

3) The Wife. Seriously, I love her and couldn't have a better set up there.

The bads:

1) I am bored at work.

2) I am resentful of what I do have to do around the house (which isn't all that much anymore because of The Wife).

3) I think I get above and beyond pissed with L's whining.

4) B, just being B, makes me nuts 90% of the time. Poor guy.

Is this the trap that we all fall into about having it all? Should I expect most of these problems? Shouldn't I be happier with my lot in life -- I mean B is a wonderful husband and a great father, so why can't I appreciate him more. L is for the most part an awesome child, why I can't I ease up on getting annoyed when he whines. And why can't I just be happy that R gave me months of good sleep and is just having issues now, rather than be annoyed that he is waking at night?

Other things that are 50-50
--My coffee these days because all of a sudden caffeine and I are no longer on good terms.
--L is half way there being potty trained. Wakes up now in the morning and after naps dry and ready to go potty.
--My boobs. I had to take some allergy meds so my current milk production is about half of what I used to produce. Not thrilled about that.
--The chance that I will get the raise I requested. Nervous about that and waiting to hear the word.

1 comment:

nicole said...

I think it's only natural for us to always want "more" and to not necessarily be happy with all the wonderful things we do have. I fall into the same habit. "woe is me" but I look at my kids and my husband and realize how lucky I really am!