Monday, September 24, 2007

Mommy guilt -- the shopping

Ok, there are a thousand ways that Mommy's feel guilty. Here are the ways I feel guilty...

I work and therefore don't spend every waking second with the boys -- guilt for NEEDING to work (I need to, B wants to -- B by the way has not an ounce of guilt about this!).
I like to be away from the boys and damn it sometimes just want to be alone -- Guilty for WANTING me time -- I should want to spend every second I have with the boys, especially since I work!!!
I got pregant with R before L was a year and my damn supply dried up, so guilt for not BFing for a year.

Now here is the most recent and troublesome -- I feel guilty for shopping for myself. My clothing is so outdated that it is ridiculous and since I have that thing called a J-O-B, I actually have to dress in something more than sweats every stinking day. So this weekend I went shopping -- with the boys mind you -- to update my wardrobe. Oh and maybe get some clothing that actually FIT.

Now, I have two HUGE piles of stuff to return. Bought it, half of it was tried on, half not, so I have stuff to go back to the Gap, Lord and Taylor and H&M. Some of it fits great, but now trying to justify $70 work shoes is making me sweat. $70 was NOTHING in my former life and now I think -- oh, a month of Gymboree for L if I return them. Of course, he isn't enrolled in gymboree and I still don't have TIME for gymboree, but hey, the thought is there.

So, help me get over my Mommy guilt because seriously, I think pants that I am holding together with rubber bands qualifies me more for what not to wear then it does for a promotion.


Mom2three said...

You have no reason to feel guilty!! You love those boys so much and they know it, that is what is important. As a mom you make tough choices: whether to stay home or work, whether to do things for yourselves or not to BF or bottle feed. No matter what choices you make they are the best ones for your family at the time even if they are not what you thought you would choice or what you really want to choose.
Besides it is not the material things you give your kids that they remember it is the life lessons that they get from you. Teach them to take care of themselves by taking care of yourself (by looking presentable, going to the Dr when needed, taking time QUIET time so you can be a better parent, etc.) I promise they are not going to know how much you spent on your shoes or realize they could have had another gym class for that same $. They just want to know Mommy loves them and is doing the very best for them that she can

Sarah @ Ordinary Days said...

Moms get so much pressure from the outside world, making us feel guilty for every single thing. Take a breather and look at your life and your kids. Are the kids healthy and happy? Is your marriage going well? That's about all you need and the rest is just details.
Yes, there are certain things that should probably be done a certain way, but the bottom line is, "Is your family happy?"
And skip the Gymboree. You sound too busy for it and the kids would rather sit in the yard and eat dirt at that age anyway. And dirt is free. :)

MomSmoo said...

Sarah -- you are in fact correct that L would like the dirt better. I have a bad habit of not letting him eat it though -- contrary to what his nails look like.

Rimarama said...

Don't feel guilty!!! Just because you work outside the home doesn't mean you don't still need time for you. I find that I am a much better mother (and my kids look cuter and more well-behaved) after I've had a few hours to myself.

It's good for everybody.

nicole said...

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! You're not allowed. You deserve to treat yourself once in awhile and your kids will be better for it. The boys won't know the difference between a pair of shoes or a play class so by all means, shoe shop! I do know what you mean though. I think the last item of clothing I bought for myself was a pair of jeans last Christmas because we were taking family pictures and I was three weeks post-Isaac!

MommytoA said...

Girl,buy some new clothes and don't feel guilty.The boys are well taken care of and mommy should be too.Seriously,W,a rubberband?That's worse than me wearing my jacket all day to hide my fat rolls in my too small top...b/c shopping(esp. for bigger clothes)is a hellish experience for me. ;-) I think L will be juuust fine w/out Gymboree.Oh,and if the shoes are cute,comfy & functional(wait,do those go together?)...def. keep them.

Ok,it only took me 10 tries for it to set up an acct. again but YAAAAY,it worked.