Wednesday, December 5, 2007

What is a friend

I have varying levels of friends. I think we all do, right? I have friends that I barely keep in touch with -- mainly because I feel we don't have a lot in common -- some that I don't keep in touch with because I am an idiot but I do want to keep in touch with and then I have my good friends that I talk to pretty much every single day, even if it is usually over email.

Don't get me wrong -- there are other categories, like those that I adore, but live too far away from, those that I work with and see and bitch to every day, etc.

Then we have this weird, in between category called my internet friends. B says these aren't real friends because I don't know if they are 40 year old men playing the role of a 20 something or 30 something new mom. B is not a real believer in social networking on the computer. So here in lies the problem. Are they really friends?

One of these people I would consider a friend -- like a real friend that I honestly could see myself hanging out with and having my boys around (that is a big thing for me!). We have very similar parenting styles, although we also have very differing views on some issues. She has the same sense of humor I have and I can say with 99.9999% certainty that she is infact NOT an 50 year old man (if "she" isn't who she says she is, she has a full freaking time job in keeping up this alter-personality).

I think she is having a really rough time of it right now. Her tone is off -- even though it is through emails/posts/blog entries (I am purposefully being general here as to not "call out" the person). I found myself thinking of her while I was folding diapers this morning and I feel like I need to reach out -- but I don't want to overstep either. BTW -- if you know who you are and you need ANYTHING at all, please let me know! Seriously. Drop me an email or something.

This is when I HATE having "friends" I don't talk to in person. If it were W or N I would call them up and say - hey, I was thinking about you this morning and just wanted to make sure you are ok. For some reason I don't feel like I can do that. I am not her best friend, I probably am not even one of her close friends, I am someone she knows through pictures and through my words, but not someone she knows in person.

Does it matter though? If you thought one of your internet "friends" was in trouble what would you do?

1 comment:

MommytoA said...

A lot of people I know, including family think I'm nuts when I talk about my internet friends. I've been unsure of what to call them and there are varying degrees of friendship among them. But, I've been talking to most for so long and gone through similar experience that my irl friends can't relate to. Plus, I sometimes tell them (esp. you) things I never share with irl friends so I think that in itself means I consider an internet friend a real one. I think we're lucky to live in such a tech age.

B is right. We could be 50 yr old men playing around but we're entertaining at least...right? Silly man.