Tuesday, November 20, 2007

What kind of parent are you?

Are you the type that lets your kids get hurt to learn a lesson or do you do your best to protect them from any injury? Now, the kicker, do you have a boy or a girl?

I have two boys. My one best friend, W, has 2 girls. We parent so differently that it is hilarious.

I am of the mind set that if L tries to climb out of his crib and falls, then he will learn not to do that again. Yes, he has carpet in his room, but I never have even though of that. L has fallen off a kitchen chair onto the ceramic tile, the couch onto the hardwood floor and off a hotel bed onto pretty much cement (because we all know the quality of hotel carpet). Actually his first fall was in our basement, on ceramic tile and he bit substantially into his lip. He bled, I cried and then he never tried going down the step in our basement again unless he was holding a hand or doing it backwards.

W's oldest, who is just 6 weeks younger than L, tried to crawl out of her crib last night. W and her hubby saw it on the video monitor and ran to stop her. Luckily they did and she is safe and sound without a bruise. W told me about this this morning and my reaction was similar to what I would do with L -- let her fall, she will learn. W would never even consider that. She does everything in her power to protect her and won't let her get hurt if she can at all prevent it.

I am in no way saying my way is right. I am in no way saying that W is wrong. I am just wondering if my nonchalance is related to the fact that I have rough and tumble boys (who I have resigned myself to knowing they will be dirty and bruised) and she has sweet adorable little girls.


nicole said...

Since I have one of each I thought I should weigh in here. I'll let both my kids try what they want to try knowing it will result in scaring them out of doing it again. Dylan climbed out of her crib one time and fell, and hasn't done it since. Isaac climbs up the stairs, and has fallen down them (only a step or two, because I do watch him) but he learns as well. I'll let them get hurt or scared, but I make sure it won't be a serious injury. I think it's just the parenting style, not the gender of the kids...

mamaC said...

Just to clarify a bit here, I dont have a problem letting my girls fall or get hurt, but there are certain cases where I am extra cautious. On stairs, around the pool/bathtub, and now with the crib thing. She falls all the time and we dont coddle her at all, we laugh and tell her to shake it off (unless it is serious of course). I want my girls to be tough but when I feel there are serious safety concerns I do my best to try to avoid them getting seriously injured. Falling out of the cribs is one of those cases (in my mind at least).
I totally appreciate different parenting styles so I am interested to see what everyone has to say.
Great post momsmoo!

Kirsten said...

I am more of a school of hard knocks type for my girls. BUT, I agree with mamac that there are certain places where I try to cushion a little.

The best advice I ever got about this was to pause after she falls down and wait to see if she crys or not. If she crys (which is almost never) I comfort, if she doesn't or if she looks to me to see how to react I ignore.