They win

I officially give up. The kids win. Mommy can't do anything right and she is finally willing to accept that. So, I give up. L -- you want to eat dog food, throw toys at your brother, whine like a freaking fool and play your mom and dad against one another because you know if you cry long enough in front of your father he will give you something/anything to shut you up -- so go right ahead. R -- you want to be constantly sick, sleep for a max of 2 hours at night, but willing to sleep all day long if I would let you, scream bloody murder for 2 hours at night for mom and happily sleep soundly when Daddy has you -- well fine -- go right ahead.

I honestly don't know what is going on with me. I have spent the last hour crying my eyes out -- during which L thoroughly enjoyed throwing legos at me and would laugh hysterically when they would hit me in the head. If he wasn't attempting to hit me or his brother with some object or toy he was crying and whining.

R -- well he is sick again. This time snot is coming out of his ears and not his eyes. So, it is official. I some how screwed him up in utero and he can't drain snot properly. We have a second pedi appt. today and we will see what they have to say. Although, I am to the point where I almost wish he would be admitted to the hospital because honestly -- I am obviously NOT doing a good job at all with him. Poor kid has been sick more than he has been healthy in his short life.

I don't mean this to be a poor me post, but NO ONE gets it. B thinks I am over reacting, as does anyone else I talk to, but seriously no on freaking gets it. This SAHM thing isn't supposed to overwhelm me, but I am seriously ready to throw in the towel. I obviously suck at the mommy thing, so maybe I need to just leave it to the experts otherwise I will probably screw the kids up worse.