Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The exhaustion level = the unknown

I have now reached a level of thorough exhaustion previously unknown to me. That is saying a lot for someone who has worked over 100 hours in 6 days while commuting an hour each way too and then headed off to a week long hearing where I needed to be "ON" all day long while only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night. No amount of work has prepared me for the mind numbing exhaustion that comes with keeping a 16 month old entertained while caring for a newborn. It is truly unreal. Although it is finally making sense to me why woman like to be SAHMs! I am getting the hang of it and really enjoying my time with L especially.

B and I have always agreed that it is basically pointless for him to get up at night with the kids because while I am nursing there isn't much he can do (yes, he can change a diaper, but hello, I am awake already, so I would rather do it then fight to get him up), but I find myself praying every night that my husband starts to lactate. Weird... YES, but that is what the exhaustion will do to you.

I am giving myself until a month and then I plan to have B give R a bottle of expressed milk every morning when he gets up at 6ish if R hasn't started sleeping more than 2 hours at a shot. B is a morning person and I NEED a nice block of 4 hours of sleep so that I am ready to deal with L all day long. That is my plan... now just to sell B on it.

Add to that, B and I are having "division of labor" issues (ie -- I am "home" all day, so I should do everything and he should be able to relax when he gets home. Somehow the man has figured out that being a temporary SAHM to a 16m old and a newborn is the same as eating bon bons all day, right??). That has already been slated as our return to NY conversation after Easter. Oh goodie! At least having 2 kids in the car will force us to keep it civil, right?


MeesheMama said...

I almost got divorced during that first month with the baby. But don't worry. The work doesn't get easier for a while, but your sanity returns little by little as your hormones balance out. Peace to you.

Leeann said...

Hang on. It will get better, I promise it will.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.