We met with the doula on Wednesday. B is still a little hesitant about having the doula at our birth, but I think he sees it as a replacement for him. What he doesn’t get is that I really need both of them there. B for when I am pushing and I NEED to maintain eye contact with him and the doula for the walking the halls, suggestions for ways to relax, and just being that extra set of hands that all woman should have when they are in labor and especially if they want an unmedicated birth.
Notice, I will never call it a “natural”. Natural to me is if the kid comes out your hoo-ha. A section doesn’t make you any less of a mother, but as one of my co-workers states -- it is the escape hatch for emergency use only. Just like you wouldn’t get off a plane using the fun little slide unless absolutely necessary. I don’t care if you are unconscious or high as a kite when it comes shooting out your hoo-ha, that is natural to me.
The one thing I feel like I need to address is always WHY do I want an unmedicated birth. I get asked it all the time and if one more person says “well you wouldn’t have a root canal without meds, so why give birth without meds” I will SCREAM! First of all, having a root canal is the result of a problem. Being pregnant and in labor is usually not the result of a problem (pre-term labor and the like aside). Also, how many people where drugged when they were infants or in elementary school when they cut new teeth. How is that any different? It is a natural biological process. And honestly, no matter how low your pain tolerance, if you WANT to have an unmedicated birth then you CAN do it.
Do I think that an unmedicated birth is for everyone? What are you freaking kidding me? Absolutely not. Some people barely want to be present when their child is born and they should take advantage of the entire arsenal of meds available. Some people don't want to feel any pain in labor (my best friends fall in this category and one got her wish, fingers crossed for you W).
So the next time someone tells you they don’t want the epidural for labor, don’t look at them like they have 3 heads. Most people have thought it out and researched it and have a very good reason for WHY they don’t want it (I react very negatively to the epidural. I have had one and won’t have one again). Oh -- and I don’t give a rats patootie if you drug yourself to high heaven either. Everyone should have the labor she wants.
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If you're giving birth at a hospital, then the doula can argue with the doctors and nurses and free up your husband to focus on you. :) I think that's the primary benefit of them!
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