... no worries, not a big philosphical post, but rather how did I, corporate attorney, workaholic get to here -- mommy of 2 under 2 (or soon to be mommy of 2 under 2). Well see, there is this thing called and egg and a sperm......
No seriously -- B and I started trying to get pregnant after we got married (we are young, but not the wanting to wait type). I went off the pill and we didn't do anything "special" for the first 2 months. After that, my type A personality took over and I started charting. 2 months into charting we found out we were pregnant. YEAH. The spotting started about a week later and I was certain I would repeat my mom's frequent miscarriages.
Three angst filled days of multiple calls to the dr. Dr. was on vacation. UUGH.
Blood tests showed I had low progesterone -- the same reason my mom had 4 miscarriages. Two days later B and I had our first ultrasound. We saw a heartbeat. I was even more in love with that little flicker that I had been before. I continued to spot, but didn't care. I knew it was all fine.
2 weeks later - red blood. It was a Saturday night and I was at my best friends house -- 2 hours from home. B and I practically ran to the car to head home. OB said just to relax and they would see me Monday. I didn't even want to get out of bed on Sunday for fear of dislodging the baby (irrational -- completely irrational). Monday's ultrasound showed a perfect 9w fetus. Heartrate was strong and steady.
Needless to say, I could go on for PAGES about the complications I had with my 1st pregnancy. But it was weird, NOTHING was ever really wrong. There was bleeding -- early on and bright red at about 23w that kept me in the hospital for a few days, etc. There was ovarian cysts. There were mistaken broken water episodes -- yeah, that was me just being a 1st time mom.
When our son L was born, after 42 hours of labor -- all of it back labor -- mind you, everything got so much easier! Not easier in Motherhood is easy, but easier because I didn't stress every single second of the day. I saw him, he was perfect and if I wanted to check on him, I just needed to look in the bassinet or crib. Breastfeeding was extremely difficult in the beginning, but we were able to fix our problems and went on to breastfeed for more than 7 months... Until my supply magically dried up one day... Seriously, I went from pumping 20+ oz at work to 3-6! 3-6 oz for a kid that was eating more than 40oz a day. I don't know if I was starving him when I was trying to nurse him either....
Something was up. I freaked. About 2 weeks before B and I had an oopsie. Not oopsie as in we totally forgot birth control. No, no, no.... am not that lucky. An oopsie in that we didn't use a THIRD form of BC and I was convinced RIGHT AFTER that I was pregnant again. B of course thought I was insane, but in case I was right, I stopped the mini pill after I confirmed I had O'd 2 days after the oops. (the day of the oops I was on the mini pill -- and a fanatic about it -- still BFing on demand AND we were using condoms as back up. Except for that one time...). The milk drying up was my flashing neon sign and I figured I was about 10 days after ovulation (normally you should wait until you are 14 day past ovulation to test -- that is the day my period would normally start). I got an early test. During lunch at work. It was 2 in the afternoon.
It was a digital.
It said PREGNANT.
I didn't even tell B first. I had to take it to one of my co-workers (poor K! Single, no kids, here please look at this piece of plastic I just PEED on!). It was still PREGNANT.
I am now 32 weeks. With #2.
It was a surprise pregnancy, so it will be a suprise what the gender is too. We only felt that was what was "right" to do.
I planned to have my kids about 3 years apart.
God just laughed at me....