I am just bursting with ideas today, but first and foremost needed to share the one that changed my day yesterday.
My neighbor P's husband is 41, but seems to think he is 25. He does a lot of stupid stuff and yesterday he had a dirt bike accident. In a town in Connecticut. 2 hours away from us. Obviously, other than some road rash and puncture wounds (which required heavy sedation to clean and stitch up) he is fine, but we had to go pick him up from the hospital because his car was there (see, he drove himself to the hosptial -- I am allowed to call him an idiot for the crap he does!). So, when I hear it is about an hour away, I said, sure I will take you, thinking we will be home by 7 or so.
OH DEAR GOD, NO!!!!
Between traffic and everything it took close to 5 hours round trip. BUT, I am only going to focus on one thing...
At about 7:30pm we are finally on our way back to NY, L is about an hour past his normal dinner time -- and that is the one thing you don't do to the kid, skip a meal. So I see McD's advertised on the side of the road as Easy in/Easy Out. One would think that meant 1) close to the exit and 2) a drive-thru.
One would be wrong.
So after dragging my sorry crew, who have now been in the car for a better part of 3 hours, into McDs, there is a line to kingdom come. I know there is another McDs 7 miles down the road and this line is easily 20 minutes. And that is 20 minutes of me holding a good 50 lbs of children and an infant who is about to lose his damn mind because he is HUNGRY too. So I spin us around and hustle us out to the car. L then has his breaking point. I start crying too because I feel so bad for the poor kid -- he is starving and was just teased by McDs -- and I know he has no idea what I am talking about when I say, just give me 7 more minutes and we will have food -- it will be longer if we wait here. L is not buying what I am selling and I don't blame him.
This whole debactle is overheard by the neighboring minivan. I know the mom there knows what I am going through as I see an about 5 year old and an infant carrier. I got "the look" from her -- the one that some times I question -- was that sympathy or a look of pity that I don't have my shit together. Then she turned to me and offered me gold.
Not really gold, but 2 McNuggets and some fries that her 3 year old won't finish. Her husband had gone in to get food for her crew and she knew that her 3 year old will only eat half her meal, so L is welcome to the other half. To which I graciously accepted and then lost my damn mind crying.
This whole thing has been playing through my head over and over and over and I think I FINALLY got it. I don't know or care if the woman was BF or FF, CIOs or not, uses sposies or cloth diapers, what car seat she uses, etc. All I know is that this woman, with her beautiful 3 girls, saved my sanity and made my son smile that all encompassing smile he gets when he sees food. She most certainly didn't have to help me, and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I witnessed a similar scenerio -- would an offer of help be intrusive, would I be seen as judgemental or would the mom burst into tears at the gesture of kindness like I did.
I hope and look forward to the day when I can pass on a similar favor to a mom in need.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Happy Birthday Mom!
Today my mom has a big birthday -- it ends with a zero! She has stated that she isn't going to be celebrating it, but it is days like this that I feel bad that I live no where close to her. B and I live about 4 hours away from my parents and they are the closet family we have (pseudo family aside).
B and I originally loved being this far away from family -- all the benefits of family, with no obligations to the little details that living near family brings. Now we hate it. L and R rarely get to see their grandparents or Aunts, Uncles and Cousins and B and I are on our own here.
So, I continue to work at getting a job closer to my family and prepare to pack up this house and leave the house to which we brought both of the boys home. There is a lot of sweat and tears that have gone into this house, but it is time to say good bye and I know we are just on a short leash until we leave here.
So, anyways -- back to my Mom. Happy Birthday Mom. Hopefully Dad has something fun planned for your and your parents are not their normal crazy selves!
B and I originally loved being this far away from family -- all the benefits of family, with no obligations to the little details that living near family brings. Now we hate it. L and R rarely get to see their grandparents or Aunts, Uncles and Cousins and B and I are on our own here.
So, I continue to work at getting a job closer to my family and prepare to pack up this house and leave the house to which we brought both of the boys home. There is a lot of sweat and tears that have gone into this house, but it is time to say good bye and I know we are just on a short leash until we leave here.
So, anyways -- back to my Mom. Happy Birthday Mom. Hopefully Dad has something fun planned for your and your parents are not their normal crazy selves!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
No title
My creativity has left the building...
I spent the morning thus far (you know, my second morning of hookie vacation) attempting to come up with something to write in my blog so I could move on with my day. I have nothing for you!
L -- actually getting cuter by the days again. He is talking more and says the Saints name with the cutest inflection that pretty much drowns you in its sugary sweetness. His increased use of words has led to less whining -- there are still lots and lots and lots of whining to be had though, but it is getting better.
R -- well, he is going through a funky time right now and Mommy doesn't like it so much, so how about we just skip his non-napping, non-sleeping, cranky-butt, teething and a growth spurt self????
Today the plan is to run errands again and then take L to the pool for some Mommy and L alone time. Our alone time is pretty much non-existant as B's boobs still aren't working, so it makes sense for me to keep R -- functioning boobs and all. The Wife is going to keep R until B gets home and then we will see what happens from there. So everyone out there keep your fingers crossed for some hot hot hot weather for the rest of the day.
And don't worry - I return to work tomorrow and things are bound to be more interesting then.
I spent the morning thus far (you know, my second morning of hookie vacation) attempting to come up with something to write in my blog so I could move on with my day. I have nothing for you!
L -- actually getting cuter by the days again. He is talking more and says the Saints name with the cutest inflection that pretty much drowns you in its sugary sweetness. His increased use of words has led to less whining -- there are still lots and lots and lots of whining to be had though, but it is getting better.
R -- well, he is going through a funky time right now and Mommy doesn't like it so much, so how about we just skip his non-napping, non-sleeping, cranky-butt, teething and a growth spurt self????
Today the plan is to run errands again and then take L to the pool for some Mommy and L alone time. Our alone time is pretty much non-existant as B's boobs still aren't working, so it makes sense for me to keep R -- functioning boobs and all. The Wife is going to keep R until B gets home and then we will see what happens from there. So everyone out there keep your fingers crossed for some hot hot hot weather for the rest of the day.
And don't worry - I return to work tomorrow and things are bound to be more interesting then.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Playing hookie
Wait -- you didn't know adults did that? Well, I don't know if all adults do, but I am today. Strangely enough, it is ok to blog about because 1) my office DOES NOT CARE, 2) my boss DOES NOT CARE and 3) I flat out called in hookie!
Really, I can't believe summer is coming to an end and seeing as B and I have totally different vacation times left -- I have 3 weeks and he has 2 days?? (Where is that man going without me?). Anyways so I am taking advantage of 2 of my days and a light trial schedule to get some things done.
But rather than get my tush dressed and out the door, I am sitting in my home office, checking my work email and listening to L run up and down the hall! Maybe today will be my hookie day with the kids. Wonder what we can go do with The Wife....
Sorry for the stream of conscious blog, but it is my round about way of asking... What the heck do you do with a toddler and an infant during these dog days of summer when you want to enjoy your fleeting moments of free time with them? Suggestions?
Really, I can't believe summer is coming to an end and seeing as B and I have totally different vacation times left -- I have 3 weeks and he has 2 days?? (Where is that man going without me?). Anyways so I am taking advantage of 2 of my days and a light trial schedule to get some things done.
But rather than get my tush dressed and out the door, I am sitting in my home office, checking my work email and listening to L run up and down the hall! Maybe today will be my hookie day with the kids. Wonder what we can go do with The Wife....
Sorry for the stream of conscious blog, but it is my round about way of asking... What the heck do you do with a toddler and an infant during these dog days of summer when you want to enjoy your fleeting moments of free time with them? Suggestions?
Friday, August 24, 2007
McGuyver
The one consistant thing that every evaluator told us when they came to analyze L is that he is very intelligent. B and I already knew that. And we aren't just parents that are bragging -- seriously, it is obvious just watching him. Also, extremely frustrating as I swear he is smarter than I am.
This is the screen door that the child can open. At 17m he learned that. Oh and that means he can undo the safety bolt too that you see on the bottom. You can't see it in this picture, but beyond those flowers is a street. Means a lot of keeping the storm door closed.
This fan... yeah, he likes to take the cover off it (that took ME a while to figure out, thank you very much). Too bad he doesn't like to wipe the dust off its blades.
This crib -- R's crib -- is his jungle gym. Some how though he knows not to crawl in and out of his own crib.
See this step stool! Ok, this is a newer one... He gets the step stool out (which requires moving 2 garbage cans), opens it up, places it in front of this cabinet - similar to what it looks like right now - and then crawls up it to get fruit off the counter. Or cookies, or whatever the hell we are storing there.
And this is my favorite -- crawls into his booster seat and buckles himself in! You can certainly tell when the kid is hungry.
He is only 21 months old. If this is normal, I don't want to hear it because I like to firmly believe that he is a freaking genius McGuyver type.
Which he CERTAINLY didn't inherit from me! Thanks B for the freakishly smart, mechanically inclined kid.
This is the screen door that the child can open. At 17m he learned that. Oh and that means he can undo the safety bolt too that you see on the bottom. You can't see it in this picture, but beyond those flowers is a street. Means a lot of keeping the storm door closed.
This fan... yeah, he likes to take the cover off it (that took ME a while to figure out, thank you very much). Too bad he doesn't like to wipe the dust off its blades.
This crib -- R's crib -- is his jungle gym. Some how though he knows not to crawl in and out of his own crib.
See this step stool! Ok, this is a newer one... He gets the step stool out (which requires moving 2 garbage cans), opens it up, places it in front of this cabinet - similar to what it looks like right now - and then crawls up it to get fruit off the counter. Or cookies, or whatever the hell we are storing there.
And this is my favorite -- crawls into his booster seat and buckles himself in! You can certainly tell when the kid is hungry.
He is only 21 months old. If this is normal, I don't want to hear it because I like to firmly believe that he is a freaking genius McGuyver type.
Which he CERTAINLY didn't inherit from me! Thanks B for the freakishly smart, mechanically inclined kid.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Operation Get the Hell out of Dodge
Has been stepped up a notch. This usually coinsides with getting an AWESOME house listing from a former classmate of mine who just so happens to be a realtor now and then something else happening. Several things have happened recently:
1) Two weekends in a row with the Saint. Her girls may talk back to her, but I still love them and so does L. He is SO much easier to deal with when they are around and hello -- kid sleeps like a log then because he is so exhausted by them.
2) Co-irker is being ultra irksome recently.
3) If we want to have a third kid we have to put a second floor on this house... massive construction that I am not looking forward too.
4) FAMILY.
5) an overwhelming sense of doom that something is going to happen in the NYC area soon! Shoot -- have they CAUGHT the people who bombed infront of the British Embassy like 3 years ago? Nope! And I work IN a landmark building, so it is time for Smoo to leave the premises.
6) B hates his boss. So do I.
So, I have stepped it up on applying for jobs back near my home town and should I get a bite and then a good offer, we may just be fleeing NYC.
The sticking points -- The Wife. My boss. Selling a house in this market. Buying a house/getting a mortgage. Credit card debt that needs paid off. Oh and a brand spanking new kitchen that I am just able to enjoy.
1) Two weekends in a row with the Saint. Her girls may talk back to her, but I still love them and so does L. He is SO much easier to deal with when they are around and hello -- kid sleeps like a log then because he is so exhausted by them.
2) Co-irker is being ultra irksome recently.
3) If we want to have a third kid we have to put a second floor on this house... massive construction that I am not looking forward too.
4) FAMILY.
5) an overwhelming sense of doom that something is going to happen in the NYC area soon! Shoot -- have they CAUGHT the people who bombed infront of the British Embassy like 3 years ago? Nope! And I work IN a landmark building, so it is time for Smoo to leave the premises.
6) B hates his boss. So do I.
So, I have stepped it up on applying for jobs back near my home town and should I get a bite and then a good offer, we may just be fleeing NYC.
The sticking points -- The Wife. My boss. Selling a house in this market. Buying a house/getting a mortgage. Credit card debt that needs paid off. Oh and a brand spanking new kitchen that I am just able to enjoy.
100 things about me
1) I have two boys 16 months apart.
2) When my sister had her 2 girls 16 months apart I though she was insane, irresponsible and full of crap (that she got pregnant on the minipill). Yeah, well... guess what I was on when I got pregnant too.
3) I wanted my kids to be 3-4 years apart and now I couldn't be happier that they are so close in age.
4) B and I are trying to decide if we want to have a third. I mainly want to go through labor again, not necessarily have the baby to raise. (yes, I know how crazy that sounds).
5) I met B at a funeral. His best friend's funeral
6) We started "dating" a year later.
7) Our first date was to the Melting Pot in the Chicago burbs and we got engaged at the Melting Pot in Washington DC
8) My mom thought I had a thing for him long before I admitted it.
9) I am an attorney and work stupidly long hours, even though I work from home twice a week.
10) Luckily, I love my job and most of my co-workers.
11) The one co-worker I don't like. I refer to him as the co-irker. I think I don't like him because he does the same things to me that B does to annoy me. Oh and he has called me lazy twice -- NO ONE has ever called me lazy in my life, so I am thinking HE has an issue.
12) I have a freaky good memory when it comes to #s. I can remember pretty much every phone number I have ever had and had the boys SS#s memorized within a hour or so of getting the card.
13) I know B's SS# almost as well as my own.
14) I can't remember names to save my life though.
15) When I got married, I used purple as a wedding color. No one expected anything else because purple is my favorite color and I thought everyone knew that.
16) My sister didn't know purple was my favorite color.
17) When she told me that, I actually cried because I was so upset that she didn't know "anything" about me.
18) Looking back I realize that is because we were at different points in our lives and it was ok that she didn't know that.
19) I also look back at our wedding and wish we had just eloped and saved all that money.
20) In Dec. of 2002, I borrowed 12K from the wedding account my parents had for me to pay off credit card debt. The debt scared me silly.
21) By June 2004 I had paid every single cent back.
22) I still don't know how I was able to do that.
23) Right now, B and I have 24K on our credit cards.
24) 23K of it was for 2 home renovation projects.
25) For some reason that debt doesn't scare me at all (maybe because half of it is intrest free?)
26) We also would have spent 5 times that much if B hadn't done the work.
27) Even though I know he works quickly and does a great job, I still always get pissed at B during a renovation project.
28) It is one of the reasons I am scared to ever move.
29) Because I know we will buy another fixer upper and go through this hell again.
30) I commute on a train three days a week.
31) When I say I over hear interesting things on the train, I really mean, OMG why do people think that the train is their private living room.
32) And I don’t blush easily and I talk about most things in “mixed” company.
33) Turning up my Ipod is the only way I survive the commute some days.
34) I listen to KT Tunstall, Black Horse and a Cherry Tree to get me hyped up for work.
35) Yes, that means I heard it on American Idol.
36) Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that.
37) This coming up with 100 things about me is proving difficult.
38) I recently found out that my old boss and his wife are expecting.
39) It actually made me cry tears of joy.
40) Not around the ex-boss though, although he has seen me cry more times then I care to remember.
41) Don’t worry, it isn’t too weird because he is a friend outside of work and always has been.
42) I cried because I was so relieved that they were pregnant because I worried, for some unexplainable reason, that they would have trouble getting pregnant.
43) The ex-boss may think he is going to be hands off, but I think he is going to be such an awesome dad.
44) I am friends with his wife too.
45) Talking about this has made me realize that I have known the ex-boss now for more than 10 years -- and have worked for him, in 2 different jobs, for most of that time.
46) My mom thinks the ex-boss is one of the greatest humans alive because he is the one that convinced me to leave the EX (oh and because the ex-boss is funnier than anyone else we know).
47) My EX was a sadistic, evil man. The ex-boss was a good man to force me to see it.
48) But the EX taught me an awful lot about myself and really is one of the reasons why I am the person I am today.
49) Unfortunately, I grudgingly appreciate that.
50) I will also kill my boys if I ever find out they treat a girlfriend like the EX treated me.
51) One of my biggest concerns about raising the boys is that they will be Mama’s boys.
52) Then I realize L isn’t even a Mama’s boy now, so I really should not worry about that.
53) Although I hope they are a little bit of Mama’s boys because I want them to stay close to me when they grow up.
54) Unfortunately, I realize that the likelihood is the my DILs will not like me.
55) But I keep my fingers crossed that I walk the line between being a good mom to an adult and giving my boys the space they need.
56) And I have learned even some of the most “evil” MILs really flourish when put to the test.
57) I used to bash W’s MIL.
58) Now I have so much respect for her that I want to apologize for being such a bitch to her before.
59) Talking about W -- I have a secret fear that we won’t be as close as we are right now, in 3 years or 5 years.
60) She is the only one I have that fear of because I know N and I will always be close.
61) I hope that is because I am used to being across the country from N and still being close to her.
62) But it really started after O was born.
63) So I think it is more that I can’t help W and I know she will make a friend who will be able to relate to her.
64) I have lost other friends because I wasn’t able to “relate”.
65) And when I think about this, I shake my head and think -- OMG what a selfish bitch. And then resign myself to the fact it is more important that she find someone to help her rather than unilaterally continue to be one of my best friend and then secretly pray that somehow that can be me.
66) I have a dream to write chick lit.
67) I don’t know if anyone would buy a book written by me and so I return to my safe cocoon of work.
68) But on those days when the kids are especially good I think I should really go for it so I could SAH with them and then write.
69) And then I realize that people find my life more comical than anything because of ALL the factors in it and the stupid juggling that I attempt to do and then fail at.
70) Talking about failing, B… doesn’t love it so much when I don’t make it home in time for dinner.
71) And I feel so bad to only sweep in right before bedtime.
72) Then I get pissed because B doesn’t seem to get too upset when he misses bedtimes.
73) B might miss bedtimes 5-10 times a YEAR. For me, it is easily 2-3 times a month. B’s misses are usually because of snow too.
74) Although I will say, he has a knack for being gone for a long period of time only when L is sick.
75) When B is gone/overworked/not as much help due to his work, we always have the same fight which ends with me telling him to quit work.
76) Then I secretly pray he DOESN’T quit work because I don’t want to lose The Wife.
77) I think I will need to be committed if the Wife ever decides to quit on us.
78) Therefore I go out of my way to be overly generous (ie. she gets paid vacation time, whatever food she wants, etc).
79) Someone told B that he was too easy on me because he “let” me get The Wife.
80) It was at a party. I didn’t want to embarrass the host.
81) B thought my head was going to explode. So did I.
82) I just curtly informed the man that B doesn’t LET me do anything, especially considering I make three times as much as he does and therefore it is MY money that pays for the Wife.
83) Oh, I didn’t mention that before -- yeah, it rarely comes up these days anymore.
84) B so doesn’t care that I make more.
85) And I have come to realize that I would rather live with him when he is doing a job he likes then one that pays more but that he doesn’t like.
86) Although some days I regress and get annoyed that I HAVE to work.
87) Talking about working, it makes my blood boil when someone says that women should give up work to stay home -- why WOMEN???? Didn’t the men have some involvement in conceiving the child?
88) B was a SAHD for 8 months.
89) It doesn’t work for us.
90) If he stayed home, I think we would be headed for a divorce.
91) Sometimes I wonder if we will remain married anyways -- we both have hot tempers and we bicker to communicate.
92) That makes my sister insane.
93) But then again, The Saint and my BILs relationship leaves me shaking my head too.
94) I think SAHMs have it a lot worse then I do.
95) Although I absolutely relished my time home with the boys, it is easier to go to work.
96) And the $$ I make from working isn’t bad either.
97) I do not understand the "not my kid mentality".
98) I think L is a far bigger brat than anyone else seems too.
99) I don't know whether that is good or bad.
100) But that mentality usually has me at odds with other moms.
2) When my sister had her 2 girls 16 months apart I though she was insane, irresponsible and full of crap (that she got pregnant on the minipill). Yeah, well... guess what I was on when I got pregnant too.
3) I wanted my kids to be 3-4 years apart and now I couldn't be happier that they are so close in age.
4) B and I are trying to decide if we want to have a third. I mainly want to go through labor again, not necessarily have the baby to raise. (yes, I know how crazy that sounds).
5) I met B at a funeral. His best friend's funeral
6) We started "dating" a year later.
7) Our first date was to the Melting Pot in the Chicago burbs and we got engaged at the Melting Pot in Washington DC
8) My mom thought I had a thing for him long before I admitted it.
9) I am an attorney and work stupidly long hours, even though I work from home twice a week.
10) Luckily, I love my job and most of my co-workers.
11) The one co-worker I don't like. I refer to him as the co-irker. I think I don't like him because he does the same things to me that B does to annoy me. Oh and he has called me lazy twice -- NO ONE has ever called me lazy in my life, so I am thinking HE has an issue.
12) I have a freaky good memory when it comes to #s. I can remember pretty much every phone number I have ever had and had the boys SS#s memorized within a hour or so of getting the card.
13) I know B's SS# almost as well as my own.
14) I can't remember names to save my life though.
15) When I got married, I used purple as a wedding color. No one expected anything else because purple is my favorite color and I thought everyone knew that.
16) My sister didn't know purple was my favorite color.
17) When she told me that, I actually cried because I was so upset that she didn't know "anything" about me.
18) Looking back I realize that is because we were at different points in our lives and it was ok that she didn't know that.
19) I also look back at our wedding and wish we had just eloped and saved all that money.
20) In Dec. of 2002, I borrowed 12K from the wedding account my parents had for me to pay off credit card debt. The debt scared me silly.
21) By June 2004 I had paid every single cent back.
22) I still don't know how I was able to do that.
23) Right now, B and I have 24K on our credit cards.
24) 23K of it was for 2 home renovation projects.
25) For some reason that debt doesn't scare me at all (maybe because half of it is intrest free?)
26) We also would have spent 5 times that much if B hadn't done the work.
27) Even though I know he works quickly and does a great job, I still always get pissed at B during a renovation project.
28) It is one of the reasons I am scared to ever move.
29) Because I know we will buy another fixer upper and go through this hell again.
30) I commute on a train three days a week.
31) When I say I over hear interesting things on the train, I really mean, OMG why do people think that the train is their private living room.
32) And I don’t blush easily and I talk about most things in “mixed” company.
33) Turning up my Ipod is the only way I survive the commute some days.
34) I listen to KT Tunstall, Black Horse and a Cherry Tree to get me hyped up for work.
35) Yes, that means I heard it on American Idol.
36) Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that.
37) This coming up with 100 things about me is proving difficult.
38) I recently found out that my old boss and his wife are expecting.
39) It actually made me cry tears of joy.
40) Not around the ex-boss though, although he has seen me cry more times then I care to remember.
41) Don’t worry, it isn’t too weird because he is a friend outside of work and always has been.
42) I cried because I was so relieved that they were pregnant because I worried, for some unexplainable reason, that they would have trouble getting pregnant.
43) The ex-boss may think he is going to be hands off, but I think he is going to be such an awesome dad.
44) I am friends with his wife too.
45) Talking about this has made me realize that I have known the ex-boss now for more than 10 years -- and have worked for him, in 2 different jobs, for most of that time.
46) My mom thinks the ex-boss is one of the greatest humans alive because he is the one that convinced me to leave the EX (oh and because the ex-boss is funnier than anyone else we know).
47) My EX was a sadistic, evil man. The ex-boss was a good man to force me to see it.
48) But the EX taught me an awful lot about myself and really is one of the reasons why I am the person I am today.
49) Unfortunately, I grudgingly appreciate that.
50) I will also kill my boys if I ever find out they treat a girlfriend like the EX treated me.
51) One of my biggest concerns about raising the boys is that they will be Mama’s boys.
52) Then I realize L isn’t even a Mama’s boy now, so I really should not worry about that.
53) Although I hope they are a little bit of Mama’s boys because I want them to stay close to me when they grow up.
54) Unfortunately, I realize that the likelihood is the my DILs will not like me.
55) But I keep my fingers crossed that I walk the line between being a good mom to an adult and giving my boys the space they need.
56) And I have learned even some of the most “evil” MILs really flourish when put to the test.
57) I used to bash W’s MIL.
58) Now I have so much respect for her that I want to apologize for being such a bitch to her before.
59) Talking about W -- I have a secret fear that we won’t be as close as we are right now, in 3 years or 5 years.
60) She is the only one I have that fear of because I know N and I will always be close.
61) I hope that is because I am used to being across the country from N and still being close to her.
62) But it really started after O was born.
63) So I think it is more that I can’t help W and I know she will make a friend who will be able to relate to her.
64) I have lost other friends because I wasn’t able to “relate”.
65) And when I think about this, I shake my head and think -- OMG what a selfish bitch. And then resign myself to the fact it is more important that she find someone to help her rather than unilaterally continue to be one of my best friend and then secretly pray that somehow that can be me.
66) I have a dream to write chick lit.
67) I don’t know if anyone would buy a book written by me and so I return to my safe cocoon of work.
68) But on those days when the kids are especially good I think I should really go for it so I could SAH with them and then write.
69) And then I realize that people find my life more comical than anything because of ALL the factors in it and the stupid juggling that I attempt to do and then fail at.
70) Talking about failing, B… doesn’t love it so much when I don’t make it home in time for dinner.
71) And I feel so bad to only sweep in right before bedtime.
72) Then I get pissed because B doesn’t seem to get too upset when he misses bedtimes.
73) B might miss bedtimes 5-10 times a YEAR. For me, it is easily 2-3 times a month. B’s misses are usually because of snow too.
74) Although I will say, he has a knack for being gone for a long period of time only when L is sick.
75) When B is gone/overworked/not as much help due to his work, we always have the same fight which ends with me telling him to quit work.
76) Then I secretly pray he DOESN’T quit work because I don’t want to lose The Wife.
77) I think I will need to be committed if the Wife ever decides to quit on us.
78) Therefore I go out of my way to be overly generous (ie. she gets paid vacation time, whatever food she wants, etc).
79) Someone told B that he was too easy on me because he “let” me get The Wife.
80) It was at a party. I didn’t want to embarrass the host.
81) B thought my head was going to explode. So did I.
82) I just curtly informed the man that B doesn’t LET me do anything, especially considering I make three times as much as he does and therefore it is MY money that pays for the Wife.
83) Oh, I didn’t mention that before -- yeah, it rarely comes up these days anymore.
84) B so doesn’t care that I make more.
85) And I have come to realize that I would rather live with him when he is doing a job he likes then one that pays more but that he doesn’t like.
86) Although some days I regress and get annoyed that I HAVE to work.
87) Talking about working, it makes my blood boil when someone says that women should give up work to stay home -- why WOMEN???? Didn’t the men have some involvement in conceiving the child?
88) B was a SAHD for 8 months.
89) It doesn’t work for us.
90) If he stayed home, I think we would be headed for a divorce.
91) Sometimes I wonder if we will remain married anyways -- we both have hot tempers and we bicker to communicate.
92) That makes my sister insane.
93) But then again, The Saint and my BILs relationship leaves me shaking my head too.
94) I think SAHMs have it a lot worse then I do.
95) Although I absolutely relished my time home with the boys, it is easier to go to work.
96) And the $$ I make from working isn’t bad either.
97) I do not understand the "not my kid mentality".
98) I think L is a far bigger brat than anyone else seems too.
99) I don't know whether that is good or bad.
100) But that mentality usually has me at odds with other moms.
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